I'm prob'ly going to hell.

When I moved to Helena last September, there were problems.

I had been communicating with a lady  about moving into her apartment and being her roommate and I thought that all was well.  I was wrong.

I arrived with my car packed to the roof, ready to move into my new place, and the lady hesitates.  After weeks of emails and phone calls, now she says she has to speak to my references.  I was a little taken aback that she couldn't have asked for this information earlier, you know, before I was standing in her living room, ready to unpack.

Mind you, it was about 9pm so I was confident that nothing would be resolved that night.  I gave her the information and checked into a divey motel that cost too much. 

I call her back the next day and she doesn't answer so I leave a message.  I text her.  I go by her house.  Her stupid, old dog barks at me.  She's gone off grid.  Whee. 

She texts me later that night (after I've checked out of my dive) and tells me that she's run into a "slight problem" and she'll get back to me tomorrow.  I check into a cheaper, dumpier dive.

The next day is more of the same.  And the next, and the next.  Meantime I'm checking every resource I can think of to find a new place, because this one seems to be falling apart. 

Turns out that the lady was a little nutty.  She wanted me to sign a lease with her (no problem, I thought, not knowing all the facts) but she's not the owner of the property; she's leasing .  So if there's a lease to sign it's with the landlord, right?  She doesn't see it that way.  She wants me to sign a lease but her landlords tell her she has no legal right to sub-lease because her current lease forbids it. 

After eight days it all falls apart.  She tells me that I can't move in.

That night I pray to some nebulous, vengeful diety that her old dog self-combust and die within 24 hours.

For seven days I had been looking for other options.  Not so easy.  Helena is a college town and the fall semester had started a few weeks earlier.  Apartments were full.  Also expensive.  The rental market in Helena is insane.  I'm not picky, and I couldn't find an acceptable one bedroom for under $750.  (on a related note, the apartment I left behind in Idaho Falls was a 2 bed, 1 1/2 bath with a washer/dryer, garage, patio, and was mostly furnished all for $600 per month)  Also, after spending eight nights in a motel (an unexpected cost, along with eating out every meal) my budget is dwindling.

At this point I have given up on finding my own place, and I feel that I must return to the concept of finding a room for rent instead.  Oh well.  As long at the roomates aren't crazy, it'll all be okay, right?

So I find a place through Craigslist (what could possibly go wrong?) and I can move in in two days AND I can pay my rent/deposit two days after I move in (payday, I have been working nights at Hastings while living at the super creepy Motel 6) so...awesome.

Except that it's not.

There are four people in the house, including myself, and the other three are not my ideal roommates. 

Things that happened while I lived there:

My food disappeared.  I assume the unemployed/underemployed roomies stole it.

People I did not know (roomies friends/acquaintaces) entered my room various times, usually in the middle of the night while I was sleeping (no lock on my door, natch) to ask for cigarettes and/or money.  Oddly enough, I declined.

Fights.  Actual, literal fistfights.

Rampant drug use.  All three roomies and their friends/acquaintances pretty much every day.

Parties.  Including underage drinking.  And naked guy on the couch the next morning.  Ugh.

Deceit.  I give roomie money for power bill, she does not pay said bill.  On a related note, after paying her, she smoked a lot of weed and drank a lot of booze.

There are many things I am leaving off of this list for the sake of time/space.  This post is already too long. 

I moved in in the middle of October, I moved out at the end of January.  I moved about 100 yards.  Not even one whole block.

Since then, roomie has harassed me via text/phone for money I do not owe.  She's crazy, she lies, and she's stupid.  'nuff said.

So.  Why I'm going to hell, you know, besides wishing the death of a canine.

Yesterday I'm out running errands and I come home and I see police and fire trucks at the old house.  Instead of wondering if everyone was okay, I became giddy at the thought of that house burning and those people suffering.  Alas, it turned out to be next to nothing.  Sigh.  I normally do not advocate the pain and suffering of others, but right now I'm sad that it didn't happen.  The (non) story is here.

I know that I'm supposed to forgive and forget, but I'm not wired that way.  Eventually it will fade away, but for a while at least I want the people who wronged me to get their karmic payback.

Sometimes I'm just a shallow, petty man who wants to see bad people get what's coming to them. 

See you in hell, roomie.